It sounds like we are good people who were just not valued or appreciated anywhere near the level we deserved

You know, the worst part about her affairing down was that it made me feel that much worse about myself. If her OM was lower then plant life, and he was, then what does that say about me? I must be absolutely worthless….right?

In my betrayed state of mind, I struggled with reasoning that if he was a young, super successful, handsome single guy than I could understand her affair and I could take some comfort in knowing that he was obviously a better choice and that I still had some value. How messed up is that!

I felt the same way when comparing myself to the OM. I feel my wife affaired down as well … She told him I was a “know-it-all” and didn’t think she could do nothing right when I was around. I even told her when I found out about the EA that she chose someone who was not as smart as me and an illiterate so she could have something in common with someone on her level! That was the anger speaking and I apologized to her sincerely, as she always had self-esteem issues and felt she was not as intelligent as me.

However in our case, my wife did everything that TryingHard did … She took excellent care of the household, our kids, and me. She realizes now that that was a big mistake and once she came out of the fog, realized what she could lose. We are working very hard at making our marriage work, and when I don’t get angry or feel hurt, our marriage is he best it’s ever been! Continue reading →